It's a dark secret of children's programming and fantasy literature, but only 5% of unicorns will ever grow up to be trapper keeper models or mythical means of conveyence for effeminate space-knights. No, most pass their lives in quiet, menial existence - pulling plows through magic bean fields by day, evading the advances of lonely wizards by night, and all the while conscious of the fact that they'll one day become glitter glue. Not a few have been known to escape into the release provided by "Johnny Sparkles" a street drug common in the mythical equine community. This shirt features an authorized photograph of an addict named Steve from the 1988 documentary "Hell Sparkles On" considered by many to be the premier treatment on the seedy underbelly of unicorn society."

• Designed and printed with pride in Ann Arbor, Michigan
• Professionally printed with commercial inks
• Men's, Women's, and Youth version available for most products
• If on fence about sizing, go up a size