A lot of people don't realize that the bald eagle only narrowly edged out "bacon" as the national bird. When challenged at the Congressional hearing by traitors yielding charges of "it's not a bird, it's a meat" and "it's not even from a bird, it's pork," Thomas Jefferson delivered a brilliant rebuttal chanting "A-mer-i-ca" for three whole minutes. In fact, his argument was so compelling that the eagle was only chosen when one was spotted outside the windows of the Congress where Franklin "totally saw it dive-bomb this rabbit and totally f*ck it up!" Jefferson agreed that this eagle was in fact, a total bad ass, and relented. The two then celebrated the breaking of the impasse by basically jumping their bikes over the Potomac, almost.

• Designed and printed with pride in Ann Arbor, Michigan
• Professionally printed with commercial inks
• Men's, Women's, and Youth version available for most products
• If on fence about sizing, go up a size